billkirkwrites

THE SHOT SEEN 'ROUND THE WORLD

By Bill Kirk

OK, folks. I don't want to make a big deal about this. But I hope someone has started the clocks and calibrated the metric scales to accurately measure the time--and weigh the paper--devoted to Janet Jackson's right breast. I mean, really. If we miss this opportunity to accurately establish a record, why even bother with records at all?

Fortunately, for record keeping, it's hard to find a radio show, news cast, talk show or newspaper that hasn't mentioned the RAH (Revelation At Halftime). It was on the Special Edition News after the game, the late night news, the early morning news, traffic and weather (did anyone notice if it is supposed to rain today?) and, of course, Regis and Kelly. Even the local country station I listen to was taking calls about the event this morning while I was driving our grandson to school-I think it was right after they played the song "One Hot Momma."

Just think for a moment of the potential records that could be set: the number of news stories, number of editorials, the number of photo reprints (in mainstream publications and illegally downloaded from the Internet), the number of Internet pop-up offers on our computers, the number of late night talk show invitations by one celebrity, the number of posters in locker rooms and the number of people tracking Janet Jackson's appearance schedule in hopes of catching a double whammy next time. The list may well be endless.

Consider the unique breast-related applications for NASA's Velcro technology among breast-feeding mothers alone. In fact, on a crowd scan-cam during the game, there was one young breast-feeding mother and baby who might have appreciated a hinged Velcro breast cover. Notably, her motherly exposure didn't even cause a second of concern-nor should it have. Who knows? Janet's bold fashion step forward might inspire Victoria's next secret.

Was Janet's Super Bowl RAH simply an idea whose time has come? Should we really be offended by such inevitability? I mean, this could be a social break through on the order of Elvis' shaking hips, burning bras in the '60s, J-Lo's double sticky-back neckline plunge or the first exposed ankle. And, not that I've noticed; but there are a lot of women baring their assets on beaches, in dance clubs and at Mardi Gras, all for a few strings of highly valued and much sought after plastic beads.

By the way, did anyone get the name of the fellow who streaked across the field before the start of the second half? Not much left to the imagination there. And yet, other than a few giggles, there was hardly any commentary. Should we men be offended that our anonymous little buddy didn't get equal time? I guess men are truly free not to get noticed. Perhaps the social commentators are right when they try to convince us that women's rights and freedom of action may always be a few steps behind us men.

Personally, I'm grateful for all the attention Janet is getting. As a bi-product of the great uncoverage, we might also be exposed to some of the other goings on in the world. Let's face it. With the fast pace of world events these days, sometimes it's hard to stay abreast of the news….

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