Does Anyone Know Who "stacie1.cams" Is?

By Bill Kirk

Let's face it. There are very few sure things in life. But computer pop-up messages have got to be among the surest.

Those insidious little message boxes are perennial, perpetual and filled with promises as they entreat us not to click on "OK" until after we have carefully copied down the web site name for later reference. Most of the time my finely tuned "delete" reflex kicks in as a matter of cyber self-defense. But one of my greatest fears is that, in my haste, I will inadvertently delete my only chance at wealth and fame.

Who knows? I might get lucky and find a real deal on celebrity sunglasses, penis enlargement cream or a year's supply of "performance enhancement" drugs. With just a little up-front money, I could set up any number of home-based businesses and make my fortune in only a few hours each week. Hey! It could happen! After all, I've got all that time in my golden years ahead of me.

On the other hand, with all those choices, I don't want to rush into anything. So, until the ultimate money making proposition appears, I suppose wading through a sea of pop-ups from the likes of "Tormelocka1234", "partygirlxxx" or "" (not their real names, to protect their privacy) is a small price to pay. In the meantime, it's comforting to know that I'll always have plenty of party poker pop-ups to fall back on to generate immediate income.

But don't you wonder how all those irritating pop-up message boxes work? Some are small; some tall and skinny. Some even fill the entire screen, with the "[X]" (close) button outside the viewing area, forcing a complete computer shutdown to get rid of them.

Where do they come from anyway? And how do they know when to pop up on your computer screen? I'm convinced there must be artificially intelligent random pop-up generators out there in cyberspace, activating only when I'm on line. They can't fool me! I know how the light inside a refrigerator works!

In the face of such an incessant and withering technological onslaught, I've been sorely tempted to take things into my own hands and buy some of that anti-ad computer software. But, alas, I'm reluctant to risk it. The software that promises to end pop-ups forever is advertised, you know, in a pop-up.

By the way, does anyone know who "Stacie.1cams" is? I'm sure she and the friends on her web site are very nice people. But I must admit to wondering why the names in those pop-up ads are always something like Stacie or April or Bambi? Among the hundreds of pop-up web site names I've seen, I don't recall a single Gertrude, Agnes or Prudence. What's up with that?

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